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The best evidence we have suggests Annie poisoned water supplies globally. This includes water controlled by entities arguably referred to as “corporations,” entities whose nature or purpose we have so far been unable to determine beyond some suggestion that they were involved in commodification of natural resources. Our best guess is that up to 3 out of 4 people on the planet consumed water from these sources. We have as yet been unable to determine with any confidence what caused the elimination of the other quarter of the population; consensus at this point centers around violence, possibly manipulated by Annie, and thermonuclear sanitation.

The research team led by Fow G’ardee and Hak Ket focused for almost 50 years on a question we all want answered. 

“How long did it take?”

Their conclusion, as of now: Not long at all.

• from "Methods of Annihilation," by Fow Gardee